This is a follow up to my post on Why Money is a Touchy Subject.

I’m finding that most everyone I talk to who is not in a position to influence salaries recognizes the gross inequality of our system. It wasn’t until today that I finally made the connection between this and the role of shame.

Shame is deeply embedded in our culture. It doesn’t manifest itself the same way as is induced by the family honor system of Asian cultures. Instead, it manifests on a personal level. My name. Not the family name. You can see its most obvious symptom: an inability to receive criticism. Because it would be unbearable if we were actually doing anything sub-standard. Or wrong. What would that say about our name?

As a result, we are completely terrified of having to admit we are wrong – we couldn’t bear the shame. What would other people think? I can attest to this in my own life. How easy it is to continue the charade than tell someone their behavior is wrong. It is so much easier to let it go, look the other way, or write it off.

Shame keeps us in place; it keeps us afraid to make a difference for fear of being rejected or thought poorly of.

It’s why abusers and bullies get away with what they do. Fear and shame. Fear of retribution, the shame of being a victim. In many ways this is what I believe is going on in Christendom. Søren Kierkegaard observed that “Christendom has done away with Christianity without being quite aware of it.” For whatever reason, we have started to wake up – for some of us the prospect of coming clean is unbearable for the shame of it. It’s so much easier to look like the rest of Christianity than confront the fact that we are hypocrites, bullies, self-righteous, greedy, and vain. We pass these off as part of being human instead of admitting any wrongdoing.

Back to money. Christian businesses are unwilling to confront the truth that they look no different than anyone else. They dehumanize their workers, overpay their executives, and certainly don’t embody servant leadership. Why not change? Shame. Because to do so would be admitting they weren’t behaving Christ-like in the first place. It would be giving up power and status. But it would be the right thing to do and while difficult at first, I can guarantee it is worth it. From my own experience it is worth being able to look at myself in the mirror – to know I haven’t backed down, that I have and continue to run the race as best as I can, and am willing to admit I make mistakes.

Like Aragorn I’d rather feel fair and look foul than vice versa.